The band of ill intent strolls in
And takes the stage all too soon
Piano jazz of unhealthy sin
This is Lady Flu's tune
An adagio in the key of phlegm
A slow and steady pace
She takes the microphone in her hand
With sickly yet sultry grace
She dedicates this song to me
Her lips begin to verse
We can all plainly see
Before this gets better, it gets worse
My throat is sore and begins to swell
My body's defence flees
As Lady Flu emerges from hell
And gifts to me a sneeze
Now in her full embrace
My mucous membranes porous
She's lead another successful chase
And all before the chorus
I resign myself to her will
No point to fight it now
So I take the stage and not a pill
And wipe the hot sweat from my brow
We dance the dance of illness
We dip, we glide, we twirl
We lock eyes in romantic stillness
And then I begin to hurl.
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