Insomnimaniac

I'm lying in bed... which is a good start because if I was standing up in bed or doing capoeira in bed or hunting quail... well that wouldn't be conducive with sleep.

I've tried counting sheep but all I can think about is how immeasurably insane the first person was who tried to do that in the ridiculous hope it would actually help him sleep! I wonder how man other animals he tried counting before the sheep. Perhaps he started with Dodo birds. Once he travelled the world to find they were to soon be extinct which made counting them exhausting, he decided to just count the sheep in his yard. He only had one sheep but fuck he was tired! Sad that the poor bastard thought that sheep counting and not globe trotting was responsible for his eventual slumber.

...and segway...

For some reason, right now, right at this very moment, I feel we're being watched from our relatives at the far reaches of the galaxy on a smouldering and ruined planet. You see, they sent us here thousands of years ago to colonise this planet and prepare the place for the arrival of the rest of the race.

Sorry guys, we kinda fucked up. Hope you sent your A-team somewhere else!