Meet the Troggles!

Fuckitall.

That should be word has been pulsing though my veins like a blood thirsty great white of bad mood all day. And drawing upon everything I know as an Australian, I tamed the beast by stopping by the bottle-o on the way home. I methodically selected the alcohol based on how close the price tag was to the change in my pocket. The Jaws theme music still circled as a fore thought... until I saw the Jim Beam branded Chili Chips. For those of you who haven't tried them, stop fucking wasting your life and get them now. Right now. Don't even finish this senten........

I know! How good are they! And thanks for coming back by the way. So anyway, I picked up the last 2 bags of these delicious treats in the store. That didn't impress the horrible woman who was also making a dash for the chips. Now I beat her by a good 3 count but she still protested with, "oh good one mate, take the last two bags in the whole store why don't ya... asshole". She then turned to her equally trogloditish companion, a he-she of sorts as it was difficult to tell and muttered, "can't believe he took both of them". Like there's some sort of limit we're all supposed to abide by, I thought.

Don't forget, it's me, giant, generally angry anyway and today I've got the vicious great white of bad moods coursing through my being. I just might have thrown her one of the bags if she just displayed some genuine disappointment and not unmitigated bitchery.

I calmly pointed out, "try the BBQ ones, I hear they're also quite good". She replied, "really?". I responded in a heartbeat, "no not really, these things right here are the best in the world and I have them... both bags. I might even throw one of them out when I get home just to make the surviving bag even more exclusive".

The expression on her toilet of a face indicated she was not impressed with my victory.

So I smugly saunter to the check out. As the help is costing my purchase, the troggles line up next to me, (yeah, by now I've nicknamed them and given them a back story in a Turkish circus). As I complete my transaction, I see she has placed a 6pack of bundy cans on the counter in my glorious wake. I collect my Jim Beam Chili chips, (available as most good liquor stores), and lean over her and say, "Bundy hey?". The disgruntled troggle grunts, "yeah". I lean a little closer, look down at the cans, then look back up at her and say, "what, all six of them? That's a bit rude"