I have a pimple. It’s on my nose. It’s gigantic. And by tomorrow, it will join the Great Wall of China as one of the only man made structures able to be seen from outer space.
I name my pimples. The previous, a few months ago, was named Clarence. The thing about Clarence was his tenacity. Even in the face of evil, or on the face of evil as it were, Clarence stood tall, proud and promptly gave all who cared to notice a stifling and resolute finger. The universal gesture for, I care for you very little at this point. It was only the welcome decay of time that saw Clarence ultimately evicted from Casa Del Shanga.
To my unyielding dismay, however; tenancy of the prime property just north of my mouth in the centre of the nasal district, has been imposed by another would be resident.
Gunther.
Gunther made his pending arrival known by invoking a deceivingly healthy shade of cherry red upon my nose. His rosie shades masquerading as festive welcome were swiftly unveiled as locked and loaded pistols of puss. With the rouge rouse of my nose a common knowledge memory, the ugly and true features of Gunther have now been revealed.
The golden dome of Gunther Palace is beginning to crown and the twin guns of Pinch & Pop are at the ready. But, I have learned to pick my battles as I have my nose. That is, with enthusiastic vigor blended with subtle anonymity. As ruler of the Nasal District and surrounds, I’m ordering the guns to stand down. For this, ladies and gentleman, will be a war of attrition.
Your move Gunther.
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Ah ha ha, only you could turn a little thing such as a pimple into an at times cringeworthy tale of war. You got skill man. Mad skills.
ReplyDelete'Twin guns Pinch and Pop.'
ReplyDeleteGlorius, lol.
Random brilliance from a sick and disturbed dude :P
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